Blabbering, Love, and Snogging
by Derriwynn
Summary: ZelGan smuttage that was just plain fun to write.


**Author's note: This is ZelGan smut, if you don't like it don't read it, mmk?**

Vaati is a dead man. How exactly do I know this? Because I am going to unmercifully kill that little winged purple wind bastard slowly and painfully. And I am going to enjoy every moment and every pained scream elicited from his mouth.

Why am I going to kill him? That is a good question. Well, it has to do with something I told him in confidence that he decided to blab all over Hyrule castle; to one person in particular. One person that was never to know. Ever. EVER!! Mostly because if he couldn't NOTICE it without being told….well… he would never notice.

And now he knows. And now I am going to die of embarrassment but not before I put Vat the Bat to death. Actually, I suppose I should start at the beginning and explain my reasons for wanting to kill/die more clearly.

It all started with Link attempting to save my sorry princess butt. The problem with that was I didn't really want to be saved, less so after a certain battle between Link and…ehem…Ganondorf. The thing is, my body got severely invaded by the Dark King. Not the way that you might be thinking. He possessed me, as in took my body to destroy Link. You might be thinking "oh my gosh, the poor girl!" Please, don't think that. I already had feelings for Ganondorf developing and the possession (and subsequent groping of me by his spirit) only furthered them.

Our minds and bodies melded together when he took me over. I saw so much pain in his memories, and something else that held me to him. Ganondorf actually had a soul. He was and is capable of loving. There was something else there too; I could feel his attraction toward me. And I intended to take full advantage of his attraction and ability to love. I was determined to make Ganondorf mine.

The problem began after Link left post Ganondorf's "death". I knew he was just playing opossum, the Triforce's life force was strong enough to keep him alive long enough for me to heal him. Well, after I mended the gaping hole in his chest I tried everything to get that man's attention to no avail. I swear, any attraction he had toward me was squelched after his first death. Honestly, I think I could strip down to nothing right in front of him and not even get him to look at me, which, by the way, is very unnerving.

So I decided to vent to his little minion, Vaati. I went on a rant about being in love with Ganondorf, him being completely oblivious to my not so subtle seduction attempts, and how much I wished to get his attention. And I swore Vaati to secrecy. Clearly that was a mistake because earlier this morning Vaati went skipping about the castle belting at the top of his lungs "Zelda loves Ganny!!"

And now I am going to kill him. Slowly, painfully, and brutally kill the grape with legs. And nobody can stop me. Nobody except…

"Hello Zelda."

Uh-oh, I may have one tall, red haired, muscular, massive problem. Do I dare turn around and face the man standing behind me? Do I say hello? Oh Din, what am I to do?

"What's wrong, princess? I could have sworn I just saw you jump?"

His voice is velvety and smooth. I turn to face him, giving him my best "nothing is wrong, I don't know what you're talking about" smiles. He is smirking at me. The Dark Lord Ganondorf is giving me a wolfish smile that says he is either going to kill me or shag me. Right now I do believe I'd prefer death. Oh please just let him choke me.

"Hello Ganondorf. I was just looking for Vaati, have you seen him?"

I try my best to keep my tone even, but I am fairly certain he sees right through it. I turn back around before my beet red face gives me away. I am about to run from him when I feel a strong arm catch me around my waist and pull me back until I connect with the solid wall of Ganondorf's chest.

"Why, whatever has Vaati done? Nothing bad, I hope."

I feel his grin resurface against my hair. And now the teasing begins. Always teasing, never any real emotion. I go limp in his arms and sigh. Just as all of my hopes are about to die again I feel Ganondorf shift behind me. Did I just feel…naaah, couldn't be….could it? I push my back lightly against him and I hear him bite back a strangled grunt. Oh goddesses, he is still attracted to me! I want to jump for joy, until I feel Ganondorf's hand move from my waist. Now I want to cry. He is no longer holding me. Instead, his hand is hovering about an inch above my waist, as if he is unsure of his next move. Oh Din, please don't let him have lost all feelings for me…and then I feel his arms come around me again, a bit higher up.

I am losing my senses. Too much touching makes me loopy. Oh goddesses, I feel his lips on my ear and nearly faint. And then I feel myself being spun around to face the Dark Lord. He looks down at me, his amber eyes already clouded with lust and something else? Oh goddesses, he looks like he is about to kiss me!

"…Zelda? Zelda dear, you fainted."

I hear his words shimmering above me. Oh goddesses, don't tell me I passed out right before he kissed me!! For shame Zelda!! As I mentally chastise myself I notice my armor is gone, lying in a pile next to…Ganondorf's bed? Then I realize where I am and what I am lying on. I am in Ganondorf's room lying on his bed with him nestled above me. I bolt upright and stare into those sinful gold pools. He smiles at me and motions for me to come closer. I inch toward him until I am nearly nose to nose with the Dark Lord. He kisses me on the forehead and holds me close to him.

I can hear his strong, steady heartbeat against his chest. And then I notice his hand moving around my back, finding the top part of my dress and pulling it apart so the straps fall over my shoulders. Oh goddesses, is this really happening? Please, Din, don't let it be a dream! I feel Ganondorf's lips on my neck, trailing kisses down to my collarbone all the while running his hand up and down my spine. And then my back collides with his chest again. What on earth is he doing?

Oh goddesses!! His hand makes its way to my chest and he pulls apart the strings of my corset. I am flushed, dizzy, and I feel as though I may faint again. And then I hear him murmur something behind me.

"Zelda, I love you. I have since I met you. I just needed to be sure you felt the same way about me. When I heard Vaati yelling early this morning, I knew it had to be true. I knew you had ranted to him, and I was so glad you did."

My chest heaves and my breathing is already labored. Somehow I manage to speak.

"I love you Ganondorf, all of you…make me yours forever?"

He smiles behind me. I am too far gone to smile back at him, so I let my emotions take control. He gently removes my crown from my head as I pull my hair out of its braid. The warmth of the room envelops me and a glistening sweat breaks out over my now bare skin. He pulls my dress and undergarments the rest of the way off of me as I push his shirt over his head. The sweat glistening on my skin has now appeared on his.

Ganondorf tips my head up and pulls me close to him, bringing his lips gently to mine. A tremor shoots down my back as he gives me the most earth shattering kiss in the history of Hyrule. I tremble under his expert mouth. He slowly slides his kisses south, first to my jaw, then my neck then...I think my brain just exploded!! His mouth is on my chest and all I can do is shake and make...odd noises.

Suddenly I find myself under him, looking up at his beautiful caramel eyes. My dark hair is below me and I realize I am pretty much fully exposed to his wandering gaze. I feel myself redden as Ganondorf smiles up at me from the valley of my breasts. He traces my collarbone teasingly before resuming his sweet assault on my chest. He alternates nibbles and soft love bites, sucking and teasing the tip until I'm certain I can handle no more.

I dig my nails into his shoulders as I squirm below him. And then I feel his hand wander further down my body while his mouth continues to torment my breasts. I'm not going in to detail about what exactly he is doing down there, but I will say I'm pretty sure my vocal cords will be busted by morning.

"H-How...are...you...doing...that?!"

He just looks up at me and smirks. My world collapses as a new feeling washes over my entire body, making me writhe and squirm below the Dark King as colors burst behind my eyelids. I think I just saw stars...I blame him.

"I love you Zelda."

Ganondorf nuzzles my neck as I come down from the clouds. I look at him and smile, still breathing heavy and shaking a bit. He kisses me soundly on the mouth and I cuddle close to the man who now owns every fiber of my being. Well...almost. Some things will have to wait until we are properly married. But for now, I think this will do nicely.


End file.
